glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
