Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Randomize
