carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize