Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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