So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
