I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
