You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
