We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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