I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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