I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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