no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
