Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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