So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
