ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
