Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
