is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
