Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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