my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
