how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
