maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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