wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
