It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
