The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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