none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
