The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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