whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
