i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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