i just google imaged poop.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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