Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
