her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
