You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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