I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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