Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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