Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Shame - the story of my life.
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