Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize