She's JV to your varsity
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
