next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
