If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Randomize
