I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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