I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
only you would photoshop your dick
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize