so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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