I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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