Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize