margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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