my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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