i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
