He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize