If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
