Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
