Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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