someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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