ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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