She told me I should be a condom model.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
