I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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