Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
