WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it was like eating out sand paper
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
