Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
