I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
