yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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