I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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