I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
