i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
