Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
